Running a restaurant is notoriously grueling work, with long hours that run late into the night — conditions that aren’t exactly conducive to an active love life. And when both members of a couple work in the industry, date nights really tend to be few and far between. It should come as no surprise, then, that the East Bay’s chef couples make the most of these rare opportunities for romance — and you know they make sure to eat well.

Liz Sassen, who is chef and co-owner of the Piedmont Avenue restaurant Homestead with her husband Fred Sassen, said one of the most memorable dates was the first meal they ate at Duende (468 19th St.), a stylish Spanish restaurant in Uptown Oakland. There, they shared paella and a chuletón — a giant 48-ounce Piedmontese steak meant to feed four people, but the two of them polished it off on the their own, eating mostly with their bare hands.

Apart from the deliciousness of the food, Sassen said what she and her husband appreciated was how the restaurant’s coziness and warmth helped them to do what they’re almost never able to do when they dine out — shut off their “work brains” and truly relax.

Sassen said that a lot of the time when she visits other restaurants, her mind can’t help but spin with numbers: How much does that table cost? What’s the profit margin on this dish?

Duende, she said, is one of a handful of East Bay restaurants where they’re able to tune all of that out — where a romantic dinner doesn’t inevitably turn into a business dinner.

Gail Lillian and Sal Bednarz are one of the East Bay restaurant scene’s power couples: She runs Liba Falafel’s fleet of food trucks, as well as its Uptown Oakland brick-and-mortar shop; he owns a pair of restaurants — Victory Burger and Actual Cafe — in North Oakland. Lillian and Bednarz list Vik’s Chaat (2390 Fourth St., Berkeley) and Benchmark Pizzeria (1568 Oak View Ave., Kensington) among their date-night haunts. But for anniversaries and other special celebrations, the couple usually winds up sharing a meal at Ippuku (2130 Center St., Berkeley), a sleek izakaya where the private booths and tables help create a feeling of intimacy, Bednarz said. It doesn’t hurt, either, that the food is so good. Bednarz and Lillian’s favorite dishes include bacon-wrapped mochi, whole grilled squid, and, for an unexpectedly sexy dessert, soft-serve ice cream with a sweet soy sauce reduction drizzled on top.

For other restaurant couples, too, certain eateries hold sentimental appeal because of milestones they celebrated there. Andrew and Sequoia Vennari, who own the Laurel district breakfast-and-lunch spot Sequoia Diner, had their first date at the Rockridge staple Wood Tavern (6317 College Ave., Oakland), and they never stopped going back — including when they celebrated their engagement a few years back. “It’s our nostalgic place,” Sequoia said, adding that they’ll usually go for a late lunch that might include “a bunch of Bloody Marys and a giant bowl of fries.” Plus, as Andrew quipped, in reference to Wood Tavern’s most famous sandwich, “Can you think of a more romantic meat than pastrami?”  

Meanwhile, Jay Porter, who co-owns The Half Orange and Salsipuedes with his wife Katie Mayfield, say they have started a recent tradition of having Chris Kronner — the chef-owner of KronnerBurger (4063 Piedmont Ave., Oakland) — cook their anniversary dinner. Last year, it was an Italian-themed pop-up that Kronner hosted at the wine bar Ordinaire (3354 Grand Ave., Oakland). This year, it was four-course dinner at KronnerBurger whose centerpiece was a ninety-day, dry-aged, grass-fed ribeye steak.

Of course, like the rest of us, chefs don’t spend all of their time thinking about food — or at least not just about food. Sometimes, they like to incorporate some post-meal extracurriculars into their date night plans. Preeti Mistry, chef-owner of Temescal’s Juhu Beach Club, said that she and her wife Ann Nadeau (a co-owner at the restaurant, although she isn’t involved in its day-to-day operations) don’t care much for traditionally “romantic” eateries, which tend to be more upscale. Instead, their weekly dose of romance typically starts each Sunday — Mistry’s day off — with brunch at Boot and Shoe Service (3308 Grand Ave., Oakland): pizza, zeppole (Italian doughnuts), Bloody Marys and gin-based Bloody Margarets, and whatever interesting seasonal salad is on the menu. Afterward, they’ll walk it all off by climbing some of the hidden staircases that wind through that part of Oakland’s Lower Hills — inevitably passing through some fancy, architecturally interesting neighborhoods.

“You get the nature part, but you also get the, ‘Oh my God, look at that house. What if we could afford to live there?'” Mistry said.

Ellen Sebastian Chang and Sunhui Chang own FuseBOX, a tiny Korean restaurant in West Oakland. Sebastian Chang said their go-to date spot is Yume (1428 Park St., Alameda), an upstairs sushi restaurant where the soundtrack is jazz and the sushi is always impeccably prepared. After dinner, they’ll walk down the block to High Scores Arcade (1414 Park St.) for a few rounds of pinball. It’s a great way to digest and to “get your body bumping into something hard and noisy” — something physical that’s sexy in its own way, Sebastian Chang said.

Of course, if you know anything about Yume, you might have heard about all of the sushi restaurant’s esoteric “rules” — about how to sit, how to pick up the sushi, and what time you have to show up to get a table. Before she ate there for the first time several years ago, Sebastian Chang had heard that chef Hideki Aomizu would prepare special dishes for customers he likes, so there was this pressure to make a good impression, too. It all added up to make the lead-up to dinner somewhat stressful, she admitted. In a sense, she found the whole experience to be the perfect metaphor for the tension and excitement you feel when you’re first trying to date someone.

And, when all was said and done, Sebastian Chang and her husband had this wonderful, intimate dinner that they’ll never forget. And that, she said, is what love — and the restaurant business — is all about: “We’re in a memory business. You want to create an experience for someone that adds to their memories.”

Valentine’s Day is corny as hell, and if you, like me, are in your twenties, it also almost always turns out to be a disappointment if you try to make it a big deal. But even if requisite displays of affection brought to you by consumer capitalism aren’t your jam, most of us can agree that the prospect of having sex is pretty cool, whether it’s with your long-term partner or someone new. If you’re one of the lucky ones planning to get laid, or just practicing some self-love, here’s a selection of new music by Bay Area artists to add to your body-party playlist. So queue this up on SoundCloud, light some candles, and don’t forget to take the necessary safety precautions.

P-Lo, “Make It Last” featuring 1-O.A.K.

P-Lo’s “Make It Last” opens like a sultry, simmering R&B slow jam but quickly picks up the pace, building up into a four-to-the-floor, minimal house beat before slowing back down to an undulating rhythm. The track is the lead single off P-Lo’s new mixtape, Before Anything, on which — in a somewhat unexpected move — the rapper shows off his sensual side. In his verses, he raps about the various ways he will cater to a woman’s pleasure (always a win in my book). 1-O.A.K. punctuates P-Lo’s verses with raspy crooning that ramps up the sex appeal.

Kossisko, “Across the Room”

If you’re single on Valentine’s Day, going out to a function where there will be lots of other unattached people is a good way to spend your night — sometimes better than polishing off a bottle of red wine while Netflix-and-chilling by yourself. And around mid February, a lot of cruising is bound to go down. Take it from Kossisko, the Berkeley singer who was known as the rapper 100s in his past life. His disco-inflected dance track “Across the Room” is an ode to the attractive strangers you’re bound to run into when you put yourself out there. And even if you don’t take anyone home, its infectious beat is enough to inspire you to strut across the dance floor.

Double Duchess, “Gifted”

Variety is key for a satisfying sex life — which is one of the takeaways from San Francisco electropop duo Double Duchess’ “Gifted.” Hey boy, I heard you’re gifted/Show me something that I’ve been missing all this time, croons Krylon, the group’s lead vocalist, in a whisper of a falsetto over an oceanic beat with lush layers of synths. The track’s slow-paced groove speeds up into a frenetic beat that pairs the fast-paced percussion of Chicago footwork with droning, whale-song melodies that, when played in the right context, could inspire a state of wild abandon.

Rayven Justice, “Hit or Nah” featuring French Montana and Keyshia Cole

Sometimes, in situations in which all parties’ boundaries will be respected, it can be best to forget politeness and express your sexual desires frankly. Oakland singer Rayven Justice, whose clapper “Hit or Nah,” featuring heavyweights French Montana and Keyshia Cole, extols the virtues of telling it like it is to your potential mate. Allow this R&B banger to soundtrack your exit from the dance floor and into the bedroom.

Rayana Jay, “Queen of Diamonds” featuring Dayvid Michael

Rayana Jay’s “Queen of Diamonds,” the standout track from the rising Richmond singer’s debut EP, 21, speaks directly to everyone’s inner freak. Jay, whose vocals have been featured on many recent Bay Area rap releases, such as Azure’s Leap Year and P-Lo’s Before Anything, has a soulful voice and penchant for angelic harmonies and ear-pleasing productions with layers of rich string arrangements and twinkling keys. On “Queen of Diamonds,” her record’s strip club anthem, her lyrics are candidly sex-positive, sweet, and devotional.

Jay Ant, “I Feel”

A little spanking and hair-pulling among consenting partners can go a long way — a topic Jay Ant doesn’t shy away from in “I Feel,” one of the sultrier songs from his new mixtape, White Rabbit. The rambunctious track is a sensual slapper that oscillates between hyphy and R&B, allowing Jay Ant to experiment with various vocal styles — rhyming, singing, and even reciting poetry. While somewhat explicit, the song is also tender, with the rapper detailing how he will spoil his mate in and outside of the bedroom. If you want to leave your crush smitten, take notes.

MicahTron, “Squirt”

MicahTron has held it down for both San Francisco’s rap scene and LGBT party scene for years. A queer woman herself, she often uses her lyrics to discuss the finer points of giving and receiving pleasure for the ladies. So, fittingly, her single “Squirt,” is as much a party anthem as it is an ode to female ejaculation. Over the elastic bounce of J-Matic’s hyperactive beat, she unleashes her motor-mouth flow, bouncing between punchline-filled boasts about her talents on the mic and in the bedroom. This is a club banger for the most climactic part of your night — whatever that may entail.

Kehlani, “Down for You” featuring BJ the Chicago Kid

There’s a reason why Nelly and Kelly Rowland, Ja Rule and Ashanti, Ja Rule and J. Lo, Ja Rule and Christina Milian — or, hell, Ja Rule and anybody — was a winning formula for an R&B hit in the early 2000s. There’s something magical that happens when two vocalists with musical chemistry join forces for a sappy, romantic love song set to a bumping-and-grinding beat. Oakland’s Kehlani and BJ the Chicago Kid tap into their seductive powers in their duet “Down for You” from Kehlani’s You Should Be Here. The piano-driven track evokes Nineties R&B slow jams, and its sparse beat allows the two vocalists to show off their formidable ranges, oozing sensuality in the process.

Ka’Ra Kersey, “Mystical King”

You just finished your bedroom activities with your boo and — since love is in the air — you’re now wrapped in a tender embrace, basking in that lovely, post-coital afterglow. Berkeley singer Ka’Ra Kersey’s ode to her ideal partner, “Mystical King,” is an excellent track for such a moment. In her husky voice, Kersey delivers soulful verses about adventuring with her lover to an enchanted land where they can deepen their blossoming connection. You inspire me to be free, she croons as her voice flutters over a resounding trap bass line. The song’s sexy groove might have you ready for round two before it’s over.