The Punk or Treat Halloween party at Gilman Brewing, the brewpub located next to the famous punk club at 924 Gilman, will feature three local bands just beginning to gain some recognition for themselves: Pretty & Pissed; Darling, I’m dying; and Define Desperate.
Pretty & Pissed is an evolving collective of musicians that came together at California State University’s East Bay campus. It includes bass player Sehar Khan, who’s also the band’s manager, booking agent and publicist. She put together the Punk or Treat show.
“Our band started when we were students,” Khan said. “The teachers in our rock band class—Jason Eckl and Rebecca Roundman, from the band Dirty Cello—encouraged us to create our own group, with our own sound.
“We didn’t know where to start, so we were recommending cover tunes to each other,” she continued. “Once we found the right energy for an arrangement, we added it to the vault full of songs we perform. We’re also in the process of writing our own songs, but haven’t played any of them on stage yet.”
The collective currently has nine members, but they rotate their time on stage, depending on the song they’re playing. Three to five musicians are on stage for each number. “When I joined the band class, I was a business major,” Khan said. “After starting the band, I got interested in the business side of the music business and began booking shows and promoting bands—not just Pretty & Pissed, but other acts too.”
Since they haven’t released music online or made any recordings, getting the band gigs required a bit of persuasion. “People don’t know how good we are,” Khan said. “But I can make a pretty convincing argument to venues to let their patrons experience us before we become famous.”
Poyraz Cagdas Ates, the multi-instrumentalist and vocalist who leads Darling, I’m dying, writes, records and produces all of the band’s music. “I started writing songs for Darling, I’m dying in 2024, before we had a band name,” Ates said. “It took a lot of effort and patience to organize the right group of people and explain my concept to them to get them engaged.”
The band bills themselves as a post-hardcore/emo band. Their music has an aggressive edge, with arrangements that move through various tempos and styles. Ates writes lyrics that deal with the conflicts people experience growing up, driven home by the fervent singing of Ates and Xandy Daskalakis, the band’s lead vocalists. “I want to shed light on niche moments and the feelings exhibited in the youth culture of the Bay Area,” he said.
When they play live, Darling, I’m dying is open to the impulses of the moment. “We have a deep focus on improvisation,” Ates said. “Since most of us come from a jazz background, we believe that our improv sections and other modifications make our shows special. No two are alike.
“We’re fortunate to have members that operate at a high level of musicianship,” Ates added. “That allows each member to improvise new parts on the spot, or rewrite lines in a moment. We’re working on adding more theatrical elements to our shows as well.”
Define Desperate is a quartet that’s been making music since they first got together in 2023. Dylan Lavitoria, the band’s guitarist, lyricist and main composer, described the evolution of their sound. “We played as Masked Jestures for three years,” he said. “Becoming Define Desperate felt like shedding our old skin. I’d say the change was going from the typical lovesick, maybe insecure, teenage romantic to a more sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek character.”
The band removed all their old songs from the internet and recently posted “Holy Water Tears,” their first single under their new name, on Spotify, YouTube music and iHeart. It’s a mid-tempo punk tune, with heartfelt lyrics, processed vocals and staccato power chords, that builds to a satisfying conclusion.
“The song describes the thoughts of a guy who cheated on his girlfriend, despite being a devout, conservative Catholic,” Lavitoria said. “My goal with the song was to convey the hypocrisy and manipulation that I see many people of faith display. I believe the lyricism and dark themes of our songs are the things that listeners can really dig into.
“It’s amazing to hear from people who say they’ve enjoyed rocking out to us live, or listened to ‘Holy Water Tears’ on repeat,” he added. “That joy and catharsis is exactly what we want listeners to feel.”
Everyone in the band is still in college and most work day jobs as well, in order to be able to devote themselves to their music. “It takes a lot of strength to be consistent,” Lavitoria said. “If we find ourselves getting rusty, or not being 100% there at rehearsal, it’s something we all work on. We’re continuously improving as musicians and friends.”
Pretty & Pissed; Darling, I’m dying; and Define Desperate will play at the Punk or Treat concert on Friday, Oct. 30, at 7pm at Gilman Brewing, 912 Gilman St., Berkeley. 530.709.0982. Tickets at Eventbrite.
