Amidst a vast marketplace for automobiles and auto-massagers, purebreds and bread makers, neglected exercise machines capture the true classified spirit. But today’s listings services offer much more to the health-and-fitness-minded. Besides a good laugh, that is. Behold the array of deals available in the East Bay:
Kathy Smith can totally take that Tae-Bo guy.
“Kathy Smith Kickboxing Workout:
This DVD has been used only once and is in like-new condition.” Price: $9.34; List: $15, Listed at: eBay. Shipping from: Wichita, Kansas
These Suburbans get an astounding fifteen
miles to the smoothie.
“Bicycles — Schwinn Suburban 1 male & 1 female:
Five-speeds with 26-inch wheels. In good condition and ready to enjoy.” Price each: $35; List: $200, Listed at: Bay Area Classifieds, Available in: Livermore
Time your workouts with this hip, cool, and decidedly fake watch.
“Baby-G shock watch 30M water resist pink:
Hip and sturdy, with the coolest EL lighting and fashionable design for the hippest and coolest crowd!” Price: $12.98; List: $80, Listed at: eBay. Shipping from: Hong Kong, China
Warning: Recommended for use in Berkeley only.
“One-of-a-kind tie-dye yoga workout tops:
Are you bored with exercising in the same old workout shirt? Get motivated with a new, bright and energizing top!”
Price: $20, Listed at: Craigslist
Available in: Fremont
Nonsmoking running shoes to tackle two resolutions at once.
“Mizuno new in box, 13, track/cross-country running shoe:
Up for bid is a pair of Mizuno flats. Come from smoke-free home.” Price: $14; List: $80, Listed at: eBay. Shipping from: Houston, Texas
In some countries, billiards is considered a sport.
“Schon STL-9 cue stick:
It was my Christmas present from friends of mine but I need money. Cue has been chalked once since I had it just for a year.” Price: $550; List: $875, Listed at: Craigslist. Available in: Dublin
The round-edged, shatterproof piece of plastic to finally get you off the couch.
“New treadmill book/magazine holder:
Found at premier health clubs and gyms nationwide, our reading rack fits a wide variety of machines.” Price: $16.90; List: $25, Listed at: eBay. Shipping from: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Perfect for midnight rides, if you still had a bike.
Night vision with two focus/magnification adjustments. Willing to trade for other sporting equipment — mountain bike.” Price: $100; List: $400. Listed at: Craigslist, Available in: Hayward
“I lost 47 pounds by playing with my children:
Exercise book. No equipment needed!” Price: $12.99, Listed at: Contra Costa Times. Shipping from: Shawnee, Kansas
And finally, a classified gem that writes its own punchline.
Never been used. Ten years old.” Price: $99; List: $700, Listed at: Craigslist. Available in: Walnut Creek