Chevron Squirms as Congress Grills

Chevron execs were hauled up to Capitol hill on Tuesday, as Democratic congressmen demanded to know why gas prices are so high, what’s up with those record profits, and why should the public keep giving oil companies $18 billion in tax breaks. Chevron Vice President Peter Robinson blamed high crude oil prices; as congressmen glanced away, he quietly whipped out his iPhone and bought another yacht while chuckling, “I can’t believe we got away with it again!” Okay, we made that last bit up.

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