Since we’ve established that poor people who live in tony ‘burbs die sooner than their ghetto counterparts, the next logical step is to find a poster boy for those long-suffering cul-de-sac misfits. And so we give you White Mike, Pleasanton’s own up and coming rap star. See his muscles clench with the bitterness of being raised by a single mother! Watch his face contort with the gall of driving a run-down ’87 Toyota Corolla! Read the lyrics to “Pleasanton,” his angry ditty about P-Town’s perfect white-picket fence world!
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Pleasanton Californ-eye-ay
The place where everyone knows you by name
The people are friendly
The weather is great
Everyone drives a Beamer
Lives in an estate….
Pick up the morning paper
It’s a brand new day!
Cool breeze in the air
Grin on my face
Money in the bank
My career’s in place
Life is so great
And I feel chipper…
Today’s Family Day
County fair’s in town
We’ll go to Main Street
Just toodle around
Watch the streets blow
We’ll flow with the crowd
How’s that sound?
Ice cream for the kids!
Last one’s rotten, heh heh!
Wow – not one mean person
Golly gee, everything seems so perfect
A one-bedroom Pleasanton apartment: $1100 a month. Authenticity: Priceless.
Back to 92510, the East Bay Express news blog.
