My husband and I recently watched the fantastic ’70s porn Alice in Wonderland: An X-rated Musical Fantasy (we got to it by watching Meatballs). It was everything I’ve ever wanted in a porn. Perhaps you or your readers could recommend something similar to put in our rotation?
—Likes To Watch
Check out Caligula. This intermittently pornographic 1979 film probably isn’t as lighthearted as the version of Alice in Wonderland you stumbled over, LTW, but it doubtless has a much more interesting backstory and far bigger stars. A young and sexy Malcolm McDowell as the mad Roman emperor with Peter O’Toole (!), John Gielgud (!!) and Helen Mirren (!!!) in supporting roles. Even better, this amazing train wreck of a movie is based on a screenplay by Gore Vidal. (Got a ’70s porn recommendation for LTW? Share it in the comment thread!)
Here’s a quickie: If a woman is attracted to cis men and non-binary humans (who can have either a penis or vagina), but that woman is not attracted to cis women … would that woman be bi or pan? Labels are not super important to me, Dan, but I’m calling on my friendly neighborhood sex advice columnist for help just the same!
—Loves All Bodies Except Ladies
While bisexual was once commonly understood to mean, “attracted to both sexes,” the Human Rights Campaign’s online glossary now defines bisexual as, “emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to more than one sex, gender or gender identity.” That same online glossary defines pansexual as, “the potential for emotional, romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender.” While on the first read there doesn’t seem to be much daylight between those two definitions, LABEL, there actually is some difference between being attracted to “more than one [gender]” and being attracted to “people of any gender.” And while a lot of people use bi and pan pretty much interchangeably these days, the bi label is probably a slightly better fit for you, LABEL, seeing as your libido disqualifies all members of one gender—your own—from emotional, romantic or sexual consideration.