Special SXSW recovery/mostly TV edition.

Stuff you need to know about to avoid cultural ostracism.

Animal Antics

CNN’s footage of a cat falling out of an eighty-foot tree (and surviving).

Best use of slow-motion in TV news history. Search the CNN.com video database for “Cat Lets Fur Fly.” Watch the tail. Mesmerizing.

TV Party

Ultimate proof of The Sopranos‘ utter dominance and splendidness.

Through poignant use of “When It’s Cold I’d Like to Die,” the show actually made Moby seem momentarily cool again.

Religious Conflict

The plot thickens in the great South Park/Isaac Hayes/Scientology battle.

Having watched last week’s season premiere (in which Isaac’s Chef character is brainwashed by pedophile adventurers, falls off a cliff, and gets mauled by a bear and a coyote), only one thing is certain: South Park is a fucking terrible show.

Lousy Jobs

The poor woman apparently hired to hold Mariah Carey’s beverage steady as she sips it through a straw and signs autographs.

A chaste variant on the ol’ “Can you help me use the bathroom? I just went to the doctor and he told me not to lift anything heavy” joke.

Yet More Lousy Jobs

Rolling Stone casting for its rock critic reality TV show fiasco.

Watching sexy twentysomethings bicker with each other while struggling to write the best sixty-word Interpol CD review that doesn’t mention Joy Division is the stuff of truly compelling drama.

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