Listen: You need this record. This is eleven songs of powerful,
bombastic, vital rock from “should-have-been” heroes from the Northwest
that were in other bands you probably don’t know. Touchstones include
the Hot Snakes, Superchunk, and the Thermals. Real Size Monster
Series embodies the best of indie rock, post-punk, and modern rock
in one package. It is sardonic without being directionless, clever
without being ironic. It is full of life and a perfectly conceived
vision of a band at its creative peak.
Most of the songs deal with the inevitable battle between real life
and creative vision. In the song “Bob Stinson Will Have His Revenge on
Ferndale,” bass player Chris Rasmussen sings: Remember that
spreadsheet that you wrote up?/Way back in 1993, nobody ever says “that
changed my life,” nobody ever says “that inspired me.” He tells the
tale, line by line, of the horrible catch-22 of being an independent
band without resources or means in the modern age, but still hungry for
things beyond cubicle life and the slow death of modern ennui.
“Psychedelic Vasectomy” takes on the issue of fatherhood versus art.
Door #1 is a deadbeat dad, door #2 is a bitter old man and
Stand by your man is just a song, summing up the dilemma in
three minutes over riffs the Wipers would be proud of.
This is music for people that are absolutely and legitimately jaded,
and have every right to just give up, but take a deep breath and
soldier on anyway, because that’s what you do. We may not all get to
be astronauts, when we grow up; however, Police Teeth is on to
something magnificent.
