How to Ball on a Budget, by Glitter Wizard

Wendy Stonehenge of the East Bay rock group Glitter Wizard gave SF Weekly reporter Rae Alexandra some helpful tips on how to be a rock god — when you’re not actually ballin’. Some personal favorites:

1. Dress Like a Rock God: “”Our secret is to figure out where the local strippers (the classy ones) donate their hand-me-downs.”
We might suggest, there’s still an Out Of the Closet on University Avenue, though you might prefer the one on East 18th Street.

2. Lose the groupies: Specifically, by “talking about your latest D&D campaign.” Well, some chicks are into that. Alternatively, you could perhaps name-check this guy.

3. Eat well at home, because “it all balances out when you’re living off of the dollar menu on tour.” Another helpful hint: If you get hungry on tour, you can always bite your fingernails, or make some spit in your mouth and suck on it.

Glitter Wizard performs Friday, May 6 at Cafe Du Nord (2170 Market St., San Francisco), 8 :30 p.m., $8, CafeduNord.com

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