Election Results! Fresh and Piping Hot!

What a night! Did you see that Barack Obama? There he stood, side by side with Hillary Clinton, as the Democrats shook off months of partisan bitterness and looked to the future… oh, wait. Clinton refused to concede. Well, who cares about math anyway? It’s so rigid and uncompromising; where’s the love, Pythagoras? We’ll just have to content ourselves with local races, and courtesy of the Alameda County Registrar of Voters, we bring you all yesterday’s glorious winners! Read on below!

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