Attention Oakland parents! Lock up your daughters! Members of Oakland motorcycle gangs plan to pop wheelies, beat bystanders with chains, and snort meth off their old ladies’ boobs tonight at the Oakland City Council Chambers! Wait, scratch that. They’re coming to politely ask for a special hearing on how to comply with large party permit requirements during the public comment period. According to the Trib, biker gangs such as the East Bay Dragons claim that even though they threw reasonably peaceful parties in downtown Oakland this summer, the cops made them jump through all kinds of hoops to get a special permit. Now, they’d like a little more clarity on what conditions trigger the permit requirements, and how they can better work with city officials. But admit it: you liked our first version better, didn’t you?