Online dating didn’t yet exist in the early 1990s. What did, though, were classified ads and “telepersonals” that allowed users to call 900 numbers and listen to recorded voice personals or leave their own. In July 1992 East Bay Express ran ads for one of these call lines. And recently, the family of a couple who were featured in the ads reached out to us with this adorable reminder—and an update! (Scroll down.)

Part 1: Alan (1992)

I never had any trouble meeting women until a career change placed me in an office with fewer employees, i.e., datable women. Some people at work had gone the “ad dating” route with good results, so I decided to give it a try.

I called a few of the “Women Seeking Men” ads and was quite impressed by some of the messages. I was struck by the importances of planning out the message in order to present oneself positively. I tried to imagine someone listening to my message.

I noticed, in ads, a lot of people list the things they like to do—dancing, movies, hiking, plays, etc.—sort of like the old computer-matching services. For me, this misses the point because common interests do not necessarily correlate well with romantic attraction. I wasn’t planning on doing various activities with the people I met through the ads, at least not right away, because what people need to do to get to know each other is talk. If you go to a movie, you don’t talk. I decided to downplay interests and play up values and the idea of meeting to see whether we’re attracted to each other.

The voicemail messages I received were from, almost without exception, the kind of women I wanted to attract. I answered several ads and was called back by five women. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of meeting these people, and even if I hadn’t ended up with a romantic connection, I would have counted it a worthwhile thing to do.

On Saturday, March 28, I called the Matches 900 number and used the “browse” selection to listen to “women seeking men” ads. Kathleen’s ad interested me because, for one thing, she mentioned that her favorite color is red; it used to be yellow. I wanted to know why she’d put that in the ad. I also liked her voice.

On April Fool’s Day Kathleen returned my call. The next Friday I asked her to meet me. We had a great conversation over a couple of beers and then some dinner. She seemed more like me than anyone else I had met.

The next Friday Kathleen and I went out for dinner and talked until 2am. We’re seeing each other four or five times a week and show all the signs of people falling in love. Whatever happens, it’s been a great experience. I’ve met some really nice people and I encourage others to give it a try.

Part 2: Kathleen (1992)

I had no previous experience with “ad dating.” Like a lot of people, I would occasionally read through the ads but never act on one that caught my attention. The demands of a new job and a new house made it difficult to devote enough time to meeting new people. In fact, I was trying quite hard to get to the point of not feeling the need for another relationship, trying to resign myself to a permanently single status. But then I decided I needed to do something different, something that would add a little fun and excitement to my life, and give me a sense of achievement and nourishment.

When I placed my ad, I had zero expectations and virtually no hope about meeting someone with whom I would eventually develop a serious relationship. My voicemail message was the first hurdle. I tried to simply state things that were revealing and important about myself in a way that portrayed me as having many desirable and interesting qualities while being imperfect (a true reflection of the way I feel about myself). I also talked about qualities I was seeking in a respondent—skipping, for the most part, “demographic” attributes.

Ultimately—through a slow, ambivalent, nerve-wracking process—I hit the mother lode: I found six men who seemed to match me in terms of interests. Like me, these were nice people looking to meet other nice people. I discovered one of the best aspects about “ad dating” is that all those involved have indicated availability to new relationships.

To my surprise, one of these bachelors turned out to be “Mr. Right.” He’d liked my voicemail message when he was browsing through Matches. I was very interested in his message because it described a value system as well as interests. He expressed ideas which reflected intelligence and spirit. He didn’t waste time with self-congratulations; he just put himself out there.

In retrospect, getting started was the hardest part. Once I realized there was a huge pool of nice people out there just like me it took a lot of trepidation out of the process. Right now I feel like the luckiest person on earth. I have met a terrific man with whom I “click.” I never, ever thought this would happen to me.

An update (2026):

Alan Shank, 80, and Kathleen Stock, 77, just celebrated 32 years of marriage in Woodland, as reported by their daughter Mila. ❤️

Alan recently shared via email that April 17 will be the 34th anniversary of their meeting, after he answered Kathleen’s ad in the East Bay Express. “We were also seeing other people we had met via the EBE, but decided after a couple of weeks to concentrate on each other,” he said. “I moved in with her in her West Berkeley house later that year, and we were married Oct. 30, 1993. We moved into our current home in December 1999.”