Mo’Outtakes

Express readers write the strangest things on their Best Of ballots.

Most Essential East Bay Product


“Jerry Brown”

Soon to be available statewide.


“Low income housing”

Soon to be unavailable statewide.


“weed”

Homegrown.


“toilet paper”

Recycled.


“water”

Filtered.


“pooper scooper”

Oh, but we so love the bags of poop people leave along local hiking trails.


Worthiest New Cause


“Restoring democracy”

That’s an old cause.


“pink cowboy hats”

Uh-huh.


“pets”

Right.


“happiness”

That’s a timeless cause.


“Framing Kangaroos”

¿Que?


“Free the Slaves”

We’ll get right to work on that.


“Danger”

Our middle name.


“drought resistant plants”

Your water is desperately needed.

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