I’m a 60-something straight woman. A few years ago, a longtime male friend and I, both in very unhappy relationships, did what I’d never done in my life: we cheated on our partners. We both ended our other relationships and the resulting two years have been wonderful. My guy is smart and funny and the sex is VERY good. We don’t live together and see each other on weekends. The problem: I think he voted for Trump. While he’s a political conservative, he’s not crazy and he has some reasonable viewpoints that I can tolerate even if I disagree. But not Trump. I don’t think a good person votes for Trump. Practically speaking, it doesn’t matter, because we live in solid blue Washington state and all our electoral votes will go to Biden, but I’m not sure I can fuck someone who voted for Trump. But if I end things with him there’s a good chance I’ll never have sex again. I don’t think there are many opportunities for 65-year-old average looking women, even ones with healthy libidos. Thoughts?
Update: Before I could even hit send on this email, Dan, I found out that, yes, he voted for Trump. Do I end it?!?
—OH FUCKING HELL
Yes you do, OFH, and you tell him why: elections have consequences. Better a trusty vibrator than an unworthy Trump voter.
I’m bisexual man who works on a military base with so many hot men. But how the hell do I even get a quick cock to suck without getting fired for coming on to the wrong guy? Or beaten up? How do I approach someone who could be interested? It’s been forever since I’ve had a guy! Don’t tell me to try Grindr. I already did and most of the guys on there are not my style and the two that were blew me off. I wish I was totally straight or totally gay cause the bisexual world is really depressing!
—Basically I’ve Got Unfulfilled Yearnings
Totally gay guys get blown off on Grindr and Sniffies and Recon all the time. Totally straight guys get blown off on Tinder and Farmers Only and Christian Mingle all the time. I’m not minimizing the unique challenges bisexuals face—biphobia is real—but everyone faces rejection, BIGUY. And while some gay guys don’t wanna date bi guys, you aren’t looking for a date. You’re looking for a dick to suck.
So get back on Grindr. When you see a hot guy on the street, on the subway, or your military base, quickly open Grindr—or Scruff or Sniffies or Recon or all of the above—and if they’re on there too, send ’em a message. If they’re interested, they’ll write back. If they aren’t, they won’t. And if you’re worried a guy won’t let you suck his dick if you tell him you’re bisexual and you don’t mind blowing guys who might be biphobic, don’t disclose your bisexuality on your profile and stick to “Sup?” and “Looking?” when you message them.
[email protected]. Follow Dan on Twitter @fakedansavage. This week on the Savage Lovecast, Andrew Gurza on sex with disabilities. www.savagelovecast.com
