Holiday Sports Wish List

I’m wishing that the A’s stay in Oakland and that we get a minor league team somewhere within the area code.

And when we get that team, that it has promotions for adult fun too, dizzy bat races, beer batters, and skills contests that people suck at, not just mascots falling short while outrunning a tyke.

And that mascots become a more low-profile part of the game-going experience.

And that the nostalgics who want organ music take note that not even stores in the Mall have organ music, which wasn’t as original or witty as you recall.

But that everyone who recalls pro football broadcasts that featured Punt-Pass-and-Kick competitions on national TV raise a Marathon Bar and a cold Cactus Cooler to their memory.

And that the best throwback of all would be the Giants scheduling a regular season series, mid-week in July against the Dodgers in Candlestick.

And that the crowds who crowd the racetrack during the summer fair season bring that same enthusiasm, insane betting strategy, and Daisy Duke denim to Golden Gate Fields any old time they want.

And that I spend all but two minutes of the 25 minutes between races picking a winner rather than armchair market the sport of Kings so that it earns its rightful place back on the local nightly news.

And that the locals didn’t absolutely roll for the fact that ESPN has a SportsCenter show every hour from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. and figure well, since they’re covering all the sports anyway, we’ll just give our sports guy about 100 seconds to not even show us any highlights from our own team’s game, because of course ESPN does it – which they don’t, because they spend ten minutes of their hour talking about Alex Rodriguez.

And that we come up with way better nicknames than A-Rod (A-Fraud was pretty good).

And that local sports in the newspaper stop shrinking and that Ray Ratto jumps his lazy groove of the curmudgeon who is too good for the games he has to endure and watch a game with an open mind and report it with same. And that fellow columnist Scott Ostler didn’t feel like he just moved here from LA, and needed to step lightly for the first ten years of reportage. Take off your shoes, Scott, make yourself at home!

And that college football 2007 be preserved in amber starting from day one (January 1st!) so that we could watch it again.

And that when college football goes to double or multiple overtimes that the team’s scoring get just one point or something (a letter?) so that we don’t get wacked-out finals like 74-72 blowing the hell out of all the statistics and devaluing the real 50-47 game.

And that the Warriors take a bow for a true spontaneous sports moment circa April-May of 07.

And that when the A’s offer $2 day, they offer more than about 20 seats for the general public who stand there fuming when they realize that all the two-buck seats have been sold out since February.

And that they’ll make it back big time in Coliseum Dogs and foam fingers (Mmm, foam fingers…).

And that all the Bay Area college teams played one another in some kick-ass kind of pre season tournament in the Kaiser Auditorium or the like, so that St. Mary’s, USF, and Cal build up a real thing.

And that the women’s games were played in-between.

And that we could get Miguel Tejada back, steroids or not.

And that track and field came back in high school, college, and on the tube.

And that I can enjoy the A’s while they last.

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