Faxploitation: Ich Bin Ein Bearliner

Some pretty mind-blowing press releases make their way to EBX HQ, and today’s clear winner came in over the wire from Teddy Tour Berlin, a German start-up offering spa holidays for stuffed animals stressed out by all your lovin’. Simply box up Mr. Snuggles, ship him to Deutschland, and the good folks at Teddy Tour Berlin will ply him with massages and take him on a city tour, documenting it with photographs of your bear friend cavorting in front of Checkpoint Charlie and the Brandenburg Gate. This could do for American appreciation of German pop culture in the new millennium what Fahrvergnügen did for it in the ’90s and Nena did for it in the ’80s. After the jump, the press release in its entirety.


Berlin, 10th October 2006

Send your cuddly toy on holiday!

The newcomer in the travel business TEDDY TOUR BERLIN offers recreation for teddy bears in Germany’s capital city Berlin.

Holidays in the city for stressed teddy bears – that’s what Karsten Morschett (34) and Thomas Vetsch (32) from Berlin have to offer. The young businessmen know from experience, what cuddly toys have to suffer: “Years and years of cuddling, hugging, kicking and being soaked with tears – this is bound to leave its marks on our friends. Not only physical but also psychological ones!” says Morschett. Now the exhausted teddy bears have the opportunity to relax and build up new energy, so that they’re able to comfort, console and support their owners again.

As all the tourists, the cuddly tourists will have a sight-seeing-tour through the city. In the basket of a bicycle, with a trailer behind them, they can enjoy the sights and relax, while the two tour guides do all the hard work.

They visit the TV-tower at the Alexanderplatz, the Brandenburg Gate, the Column of Victory, the Checkpoint Charlie and finally enjoy a picnic in Berlin’s central park, the famous Tiergarten, where they are offered a variety of Berlin specialities like Boulette (rissole), Schrippe (rolls) and ‘Berliner Weiße’ (speciality beer).

But it’s not only the emotional well-being that is provided. The two entrepreneurs from Berlin have also hired a trained physiotherapist to complete their team. Bettina Kaiser (33) offers relaxing massages which are – obviously – included in the price.

To show you what a lovely time they’ve had – and so they can remember the lovely holiday – your teddy bear will bring home an album full of pictures, their new passport, a certificate and a surprise souvenir.

But are your teddy bears really in good hands? The tour guides are aware of the high emotional value of a cuddly toy: “A teddy cannot be replaced by money! That’s why we treat them with the greatest care – from the moment they arrive right until they leave!” says Thomas Vetsch, who would only give his own teddy into very caring hands .

Further information about TEDDY TOUR BERLIN you can find online: www.teddy-tour-berlin.com

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