Everything Must Go!

When the Oakland A’s sent staff ace Danny Haren to the Arizona Diamondbacks in exchange for six prospects this past Friday, it was spun as the start of the Athletics rebuilding year. We sent our best away and got back one guy with big league experience. That’s this guy, Dana Eveland, who’s described as a David Wells-type (read: fat, or possibly drunk) . It couldn’t be because of his statistics (a 7.22 ERA and heading up each year he’s been in the show). I do like the “loss with Mexicali in the Mexican Pacific League” on the resume though, that’s Wellsian. But the biggest news is not the hefty lefty’s size (eighteen pounds heavier on Wikipidea than on mlb.com by the way) but the weight lifted off A’s fans, who no longer have to reconcile rooting for Barry Bonds, who is no more likely to join a tear-down team than chase a foul ball. A’s rooters will get used to the evenings with Eveland, who had these less than inspiring words when he spoke of the trade to the Santa Clarita Valley Signal: “It’s hard to say. It just happened. I don’t know how I felt about it.” Dana, we hear your ambivalence and want you to know we feel the same. Buena suerte, señor, and make sure that you keep that fire in your belly when you pitch against the Ciudad Obregon this week. Damned Yaquis!

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