Cred Sheet Would Like to Be Added as One of Your Friends

Stuff you need to know about to avoid cultural ostracism.

Internet Distraction

Underage girls declaring their undying love for Neil Diamond on his MySpace page

The above 72-point Comic Sans MS font is insufficient for displaying the “WTF?” this situation requires.

Amusing Rap Lyrics

The increasingly desperate search for 2005’s equivalent to I love you like the fat kid loves cake or The way Kathy Lee needed Regis/That’s the way I need Jesus

This is deadly serious business, people.

Cinematic Achievement

The mind-bending “Aquarius” dance number at the end of The 40-Year-Old Virgin

Continuing its stranglehold
on the Parkway. Drop $5 even if
you’ve already seen it.

Abstract Cultural Phenomenon

When the band at Albany’s Ivy Room
is turned up way too loud, and
the wood paneling actually vibrates

Like riding in an old-time station wagon going 250 mph.

Impending Concert Experience

The Rolling Stones with Metallica, Sunday and Tuesday at SBC Park

The mere possibility of James Hetfield providing backing vocals on “Tumbling Dice” (or Mick on “Ride the Lightning”) is simply too delicious to resist.

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