Escape Claws

Bring back Crazy Crab!

SAT 7/9


No doubt about it, the Giants are in disarray. Injured, old, grumpy, struggling to stay out of last place in the NL West, and now hearing sullen muttering from the season ticket holders in the garlic-fries lines at SBC. Meanwhile, Bonds comes out and plays catch for a few minutes before a home game, then retreats into his Dome of Silence. This situation calls for Crazy Crab. The hilariously ugly Giants “antimascot,” portrayed by comedian Wayne Doba, first scuttled into Candlestick Park in 1984 and instantly became a lightning rod for fans’ (and players’) discontent in a season in which the team went 66-96. He was pelted with beer, batteries, and firecrackers. Players spit tobacco juice in his eyeholes. On one trip around the diamond between innings, he was mugged by a San Diego Padre. Recalls Mike Krukow on RehabtheCrab.com: “Crazy Crab was the best because you could throw stuff at him. You can’t throw stuff at Lou Seal.” When the cranky crustacean crawled back to the ‘Stick in 1999 for farewell ceremonies, he stuck it to ’em one last time by taunting: “I hope the Dodgers sweep you!” Pray for us, Crazy Crab. Saturday at noon before the Giants-Cardinals game, the Crustacean Liberation Coalition holds a “Free the Crab” rally in Willie Mays Plaza. Be there. — Kelly Vance

7/6, 7/20

Mannaggia!

You don’t have to be Italian

Go ahead, toss your balls. The French call it boules; the English, lawn bowling; but we know what it really is, don’t we, goombah? Get in touch with your Mediterranean soul at the Bocce Ball and Italian Feast Night at Garré Winery tonight (Wednesday). For $26.95, you can enjoy a five-course Italian family-style dinner in Garré’s Cafe Courtyard, slurp three glasses of the vineyard’s choicest wine, and then join Cellar Master Wayne Re, the official Bocce Captain, in a few rounds of everyone’s favorite Italian-loafer activity, bocce. Don’t know how to play? Instruction will be provided. The bocce-wine-agitá nights take place the first and third Wednesdays of every month, now through autumn, at Garré, 7986 Tesla Rd., Livermore. To learn more, visit GarreWinery.com or phone 925-371-8200. — Kelly Vance

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