Don’t Worry About that Hayward Quake

If the Hayward quake sets off massive fires around the East Bay, don’t worry: you can always put them out with your blood! According to the Daily Cal, UC Berkeley researchers have discovered that Californians contain twice as much fire retardant in their blood as the average American. The flame retardant enters human beings through contact with household dust, destroys the immune system, and gives you cancer. But trying putting us on fire!

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