For a while, it wasn’t clear whether the East Bay’s haunted house
industry could operate at full capacity during a recession year. Would
those creepy mansions, witch covens, and pirate dens suddenly find
themselves under-haunted? Would the ghosts and warlocks have to
outsource their labor? Would there be enough personnel left to fill the
basements and the attics, and line the rickety staircases? Would they
have to find new and interesting ways to optimize revenue (e.g.,
renting out haunted studio space)? Fortunately, haunted houses appear
to be weathering the economic slump just fine, and even expanding their
market. Which is not to say they’re moving “uptown” like everybody
else. The best haunted houses still lie miles away from civilization,
usually down a forgotten road or on the edge of an old, brackish tarn.
You’ll find them in places where foreclosed homes stay abandoned, mist
rises from the ground, and elm trees sag in the wind.
Maybe that’s a slight exaggeration. For now, let’s just say that
most of these haunts lie in relatively secluded locations, as befits
their character. Take the Cursi House of Screams in Concord
(5625 Lewis Way, Oct. 23-24, 30-31, 7 p.m.-10.m., free, CursiHouseofScreams.com), which
supposedly belongs to a 19th-century charlatan (“Dr. Satan”) and his
many assistants. It’s actually a cluster of medical torture chambers
— including an autopsy room, a morgue, and a curtained dentist’s
chair — where patients undergo all kinds of ghastly procedures.
The Sanctuary of Evil in Oakley (936 Carpenter Rd., Oct. 23-25,
30, Nov. 1, Fri.-Sat. 7 p.m.-10 p.m., Sun. 7 p.m.-9 p.m., $7, SanctuaryofEvil.com) covers about
1.25 acres of haunted land, with such amenities as a spider room,
pirate ship scene, and sprawling corn maze. Best of all is its
simulated coffin ride in a hot rod hearse. For those desiring a more
technological experience, Fremont’s eighteen-year-old Pirates of
Emerson (45021 Warm Springs Blvd., Oct. 21-31, 7 p.m.-11 p.m.,
$20-$30, PiratesofEmerson.com) offers
animation, robotics, and special effects on five acres of “haunting
fields,” complete with a fifty-foot vessel. Touted as a “high-level”
Halloween experience, it might actually be too scary for children.
Granted, not all of us can cotton to fear-for-fear’s sake, much less
a dentist’s chamber with a bloody sink “to spit your teeth in.” For
those desiring a more pleasant, but equally thrilling Halloween
experience, there’s always Thrill the World 2009, a giant
simultaneous dance to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” Held on Saturday,
Oct. 24, at Oakland’s Studio One Art Center (365 45th St.) and
an additional location in Alameda (1402 Park St.), Thrill the World
will attempt to break the Guinness World Record for, well, largest
communal Michael Jackson dance. Additional “Thriller” dances will take
place concurrently in other parts of the globe in an effort to break
the 2007 record of 1,722 people dancing in 52 cities, on 5 continents.
The dance starts promptly at 5:30 p.m. and costs nothing, though
donations are welcome, and pre-registration is strongly suggested
(KathleenKelley.net for East
Bay participants). It’s a perfect Halloween celebration for these
times: global in scope, with almost no overhead. ThrilltheWorld.com
